Post Wedding Rituals

1.      Bar Rukai – Sister-in-law extracts her gift:  The groom’s sister does not allow her new sister-in-law to enter the house unless she is given a gift by her brother and new sister-in-law.

2.      Vadhu Pravesh:  Grih Pravesh takes place once the baraat returns with the newely weds.  Bride enters her husband's home. The bride still wears the veil while the puja and other ceremonies takes place.  When the bride arrives at her new home, her mother in law welcomes her with the traditional aarti. A common custom is for the wife to step into red powder (“Alta”) and step into the house with her right foot. After taking five steps, she knocks off a pot filled with rice and coins. Other traditions include thal picking and palm imprinting on the wall followed by taking blessing of the Goddess. All the elders then offer   “Shagun” as a warm gesture of welcoming her into the family.

3.      The Arrival at the Groom’s House, : The elders present bless the couple. Ornaments and saris are presented to the bride. She and her groom sit on a wooden chowki and the moonh dikhai ceremony begins.

4.      Mooh Dikah” – Gifts for the New Bride

5.      After the wedding, the new bride meets her husband’s relatives. This is an opportunity for her husband’s relatives to shower her with gifts and money. Her mother-in-law usually gives her jewelry on this occasion.

6.      The Marwari Agrawals community though orthodox and tradition bound are still full of life, drive and initiative. For them matrimony is an occasion for great extravagance, pomp and splendor.

Vast amounts are spent on decorations, food, jewelry, clothes and gifts. The matrimonial ceremonies are bright and joyous and the lavish wedding celebrations can carry on for several days.

7.      Aeki – Beki:  After the departure of the bride and groom, the couple returns to the groom's house where they play a game called "Aeki- Beki". This game is played by placing a ring and several coins in a tray filled with water, which is coloured, by "sindoor" and milk. It is said that the person who finds the ring four out of seven times, will rule the household. Its fun game between themselves to lighten the atmosphere and provide entertainment to the guest.

8.            Flower छड़ी {chhaDai}:  This is also a very funny game.  In this game bride and groom beat each other with this flower stick and so on joins everybody in the game and enjoy this beating with flower decorated stick beating each other.

9.            These wedding games help the bride to settle in the new family and surroundings. Most of these games are applicable in arranged marriages where bride and the groom were not permitted to see each other before their marriage. Wedding being a beginning of new life with new people, these games help in building relationship and adjustment and understanding the responsibilities.

10. Hiding of shoes: When the couple steps in to the mandap for a holy wedding ritual of pheras, they must take off their shoes. It is customary for the family and the friends of the bride, usually the bride’s younger sister who smartly snatches the groom’s shoes and hides them. After the pheras are over, the shoes are given only after demanding a ransom from the groom. The ritual is to build up a harmonious relationship between the groom and the younger family members of the bride.

11. Fishing of the ring: In this post vidai period game in the groom’s house, the couple is made to sit facing each other with a bowl of milk in front of them. The ring is dropped in the bowl. Newlyweds are asked to find the ring. Whoever gets the ring first is described as winner. The ceremony can also be performed using a pot of water which is churned vigorously so as to make a whirlpool effect once the water swirls in the pot to the point that the ring is hard to spot. This game is also called Aeki Beki.

12. In some customs, a vessel is filled with water, which is coloured, by putting sindoor and milk in it. After that, a ring and several coins are put into it. The bride and groom are then asked to find the ring. Whoever finds the ring 4 out of 7 times, wins.

13.    Pillow talk: In this post marriage ritual, the married couple is made to sit back to back. A pillow is held between them. Both bride and groom are asked questions about each other. The answers to these questions are given not by speaking but by nodding the head. The pillow talk checks the compatibility between the couple.

14. Unknotting the knotted strings: The knotted string is a kind of bracelet tied on the hands of both the bride and the groom. The couple tries to unknot the complex knots of the string using one hand. This game of unknotting the knot is played when the couple is brought to their rooms (decorated) to mark the first night. The couple has to open the knot tied on the wrist called ganth inside it with single hand.

15. Til play: This post marriage game is played with sesame seeds to tell the importance of sesame in married life. Sesame is rich in calcium and indicates the necessity of the bride to consume calcium in her post married life.

16. Father-in-law, daughter-in-law money game: In this game, father-in-law puts some money into a bag and keeps it in front of the bride and asks her to take as much money in one go.

17. You touch my heart game: This game is particularly enjoyable for the women from the bride’s side. In this game, several rounds are made with a sari wide enough for a hand to pass through it. It is then held lengthwise and behind it stands women from the bride’s family including the bride. All the women thrust their hands upto the wrist between the holes. The groom standing on the other side can only see an array of hands. He has to select the correct hand of his bride. He is given three chances. If he fails, he has to pay fine

18. Where is my heart game?: In this, the married couples present stand back to back in random order in such a way that they cannot see each other.  Each woman has to find its spouse by calling it different name with an enticement such as “Where is my heart?” without addressing him by his name. The husband has to respond accordingly. There is a lot of laughter involved after the wrong selection. Those who find their spouse, leave the games while those who fail continue calling out till they have found their partner.

19.    Going home: This is a game played at the groom’s house when sisters of the groom lock the entrance door as the bride arrives in her husband’s house. They take her to a covered heap pretending it to be their family deity. They ask her to bow her head before entering the house. The bride ever anxious to oblige dutifully bows her head. The room full of women burst out laughing when the cover is taken off to reveal a pile of shoes arranged in a mound.

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